Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Appreciate the Weird

I watched a Brian Regan show a few nights ago; don't you love how comedians can make everyday occurances seem so much funnier than they actually are?

Comedians take a lot of material from things that seem funny to them in the things surrounding them. There are a lot of funny things in life, if you think about it. In fact, if I were as expressive as Brian Regan, I think it would be awesome to be a comedian.

The problem would be coming up with fresh, new material that's entertaining for everyone. Because, well, let's face it; the things you think are funny, I might not find amusing in the least. I know: what a revelation, huh? I think that's what requires talent in a comedic career. who knew that making crowds of people laugh (with you, not at you) is a talent?

I do have one bit that might be "comedian worthy." But since I don't ever plan on doing stand-up comedy, and I am feeling generous today, I am going to share that comedy bit with you! Here goes...

I once watched a television show about giraffes. For some reason, a giraffe had to be moved from one zoo to another. I hadn't really ever thought about how one goes about moving aa giraffe, but I was a little surprised to see a semi truck pull up.

Don't get me wrong, semi trucks are big...but a giraffe? Not so much of a saquare shape. But who am I, the viewer, to question the moving authorities? I figured they would have some nifty way of making the giraffe comfortable. It wasn't until they rammed the giraffe into the truck, with its neck bent parallel to the road that i realized, 'That's as good as it's gonna get!' I mean, at least could they cut a hole in the roof of the semi? It's be cool... like a convertible top for the giraffe!

But, it didn't take long to realize that my brilliant plan had one fatal flaw. A flaw that can be described in three words: Low-clearance overpass. If a giraffe were to stick its head out of the semi at an inconvenient moment --and there's no way to say this nicely-- it'd be decapitated.

Can you imagine, some cute little family on vacation following the semi in their minivan? Dad points out thw window, "Hey! Look kids, that's how they transport the...wait!! Close your eyes! My mistake!" as the giraffe head lands--plop-- on the front of the van.

What would you do in that situation? I mean, the head is obviously not yours to keep, and there's no way you would want it on your van for longer than necessary, but what would you do? It's not like the driver of the ruck has a top-view mirror to check!

Behold, the glory of the "How's My Driving?" sticker. I think this qualifies as an excellent excuse to use your cell phone while driving. Imagine the conversation that would follow:

Dispatcher: Hello, this is 'How's My Driving?' how can I help you today?
Driver: Hello? Yeah, well, I am calling to report a truck...
Dispatcher: Okay, what is the truck number?
Driver: (Craning his neck to see around the giraffe's head) Well, I can't really see the nimber right now...
Dispatcher: That's all right, we can get that information momentarily. What seems to be the problem?
Driver: Oh--the driving is superb, but--
Dispatcher: --Great! We appreciate you taking the time to report the--
Driver: --HEAD!! There is a HEAD on my car! The giraffe didn't quite make it through the intersection in one piece, and now it's head is sitting on my car, staring at me!
*silence on the other end of the line*

Well, what do you think? Sure, it's a work in progress, and would have been a lot more funny if I had been able to act it out for you, but why don't you practice and perform it in front of your family and friends? I'm sure it would be a hoot!

Oh--and be sure to let me know how it goes! And I would love to hear any funny happenings you have noticed that would make for funny comedy!

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